Some people I know continue to act like child abuse really isn’t a big deal. Someone actually said to me the other day “if it’s not affecting you, then you just shouldn’t concern yourself with it” - as you can imagine I tore her a new asshole and she ended up calling me back after I hung up on her crying and apologizing. I wrote this because I wanted people to know that while you’re not “concerning yourself” with it, these are things that are happening to people, every second of every day. I wish people would wake up and realize putting an end to child abuse would simultaneously solve alot of others problems.

I could have went on and on with this, but here it is:

Is There Any Question As To Why I Am Numb?

Born to mother and father
Taken away due to alchohol abuse
Thrown to the drug addicted sister
In the blink of an eye
What’s supposed to be beautiful
Is flipped upside down

Starved for months on end
Until finally I just stopped
feeling hungry, eventually
the rumbling went away
Do you know how sad it is for
people to look at you not knowing
your situation and to judge you?
“Look how skinny she is, she must
be on drugs” how many 13 year olds
are really on drugs?
Why would that be a persons first thought
opposed to “is she being fed at home?
While you unkindly laugh
I’m being literally starved at home

Is there any question as to why
I am numb?

Beat till I can’t sit down
From the 3″ welts from the 4×4’s
For things I didn’t even do
Punished even for acts by my sister
“because I was the oldest”
No one should have to pay for another
persons mistakes, yet I paid severely
for the mistakes of my mother, my father,
My sister and my aunt and I still do

Raped and molested for fun
Prostituted out for money
Not money for me but money for
Her severe drug addiction
My tiny body ravaged all so
she could snort something
up her nose, get a high
First at 5, then 7,9,13, 14, 15,17
Mind you, this is just what I
Can remember, a lot is lost
in the outer space of my mind

Is there any question as to why
I am numb?

Mentally, sexually, physically abused
For the sole purpouse
Of their sick entertainment
Relatives and their friends
Have a “pissing contest” on me
Held upside down by one leg
with my head in the toilet
“We must clean you up you dirty little pig”
Hot sauce and soap in my mouth more than food

Is there any questions as why
I am numb?

Never a kiss, a hug or an “I love you”
There was not the tiniest essence of
Love in our home
Locked alone in the kitchen for hours
In the dark with music blasting
In the other room, no one could
Hear my crys, it didn’t take long
To realize that no one was going to
hear my tiny cry over the music
and I cry now at the sadness
at the fact that that was your intention
How could you be so cruel?

Is there any question as to why
I am numb?

Christina Bledsoe

Tags: Christina's Poetry //