“Teresa is just as big of an idiot as the rest of her entourage, her email was so irrelevant and her crappy essay of appreciation was pathetic, blah, blah, blah, merely some bullshit “we really appreciate you” template”
Christina Lyons
Dead Bulb by Christina
Retard II by Christina
Just Being Realistic by Christina
Yeah Right! by Christina
Constant Brain Fart by Christina
First Time Dad Changes Dirty Diaper by Christina
Yeah, I Smoke by Christina
Mr. Big Balls by Christina
RIP - Heath Ledger Dead by Christina
Hear That Roar! by Christina
“I’m just waiting for someone to report that they finally had to call the surgeon in to pull her out of James’ ass cavity, though personally, I’d rather she just get sucked into the big black oblivion.”
Doofus School by Christina
Yeah Right by Christina
Snack Time by Christina
Beyond The Call Of Duty by Christina
HA! by Christina
The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family. On the day the surrogate father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife and said, “I’m off. The man should be here soon” Half an hour later, just by chance a door-to-door baby photographer rang the doorbell, hoping to make a sale.
“Good morning, madam. I’ve come to….” “Oh, no need to explain. I’ve been expecting you,” Mrs. Smith cut in. “Really?” the photographer asked. “Well, good. I’ve made a speciality of
babies” “That’s what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat”
After a moment, she asked, blushing, “Well, where do we start?” “Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch and perhaps a couple on the bed. Sometimes the living room floor is fun too; you can really spread out!” “Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn’t work for Harry and me” “Well, madam, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But, if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven different
angles, I’m sure you’ll be pleased with the results” “My, that’s a lot of…..” gasped Mrs. Smith.
“Madam, in my line of work, a man must take his time. I’d love to be in and out in five minutes, but you’d be disappointed with that, I’m sure” “Don’t I know it,” Mrs. Smith said quietly.
The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures. “This was done on the top of a bus in downtown London” “Oh my God!” Mrs. Smith exclaimed, tugging at her handkerchief. “And these twins turned out exceptionally well, when you consider their
mother was so difficult to work with” “She was difficult?” asked Mrs. Smith. “Yes, I’m afraid so. I finally had to take her to Hyde Park to get the job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep, pushing to get a good look” “Four and five deep?” asked Mrs. Smith, eyes widened in amazement. “Yes,” the photographer said, “And for more than three hours too. The
mother was constantly squealing and yelling. I could hardly concentrate. Then darkness approached and I began to rush my shots. Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just packed it all in.” Mrs. Smith leaned forward. “You mean squirrels actually chewed on your, um……equipment?” “That’s right. Well, madam, if you’re ready, I’ll set up my tripod so we can get to work.” “Tripod?????” “Oh yes, I have to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It’s much too big for me to hold for very long. Madam? Madam? ……. Good Lord, she’s
fainted!!”
A Jewish Gentleman by Christina
Hawaiian Vacation by Christina
The Athiest by Christina
A WOMAN'S WEEK AT THE GYM by Christina
Redneck Joke by Christina
“I’m certain “What the fuck was I thinking?” is a common, daily question he asks of himself, I’d plead insanity to anyone that asked.”
Christina Lyons
Yep, Yep! by Christina
ABC's by Christina
Worldly Wonder by Christina
Just A Fasad by Christina
Entertainment Purposes by Christina
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Little Kid Showing Off on Camera Owns Himself Hard
Suppose this didn't go (hysterically) wrong, what the fuck was he trying to prove? That he can spin around in a circle?
Comedian Jim Jeffries - Warning Strong Lanuage by Christina
Penis for Passover by Christina
The Nominated – Every Oscar Nominated Film For 2007 In One by Christina
Sean Penn Criticizing Bush And His Politics by Christina
Comedian Lisa Lampanelli - Warning Potentially Offensive by Christina
“He’s a midget, but he’s not dumb, at least not completely.”
Christina Lyons
Heart Pain by Christina
Motherly Antics by Christina
Dum Dum by Christina
Wilda Beast by Christina
Continuing The Cycle by Christina
“I find her a pathetic, worthless lunatic, her parents must be so ashamed.”
Christina Lyons
My Apology To President Bush by Christina
What, Huh? by Christina
HA! by Christina
A Solution by Christina
Retard II by Christina
“She’s the dumbest attorney I know, I thought about that just now for complete accuracy and I am certain - she’s the one and only. I don’t find any other attorney I know dumb, an asshole maybe, but not dumb.”
Midget Mind by Christina
Der, What Do I Do? by Christina
Don't Act Helpless by Christina
A Little Piece of Advice by Christina
Attitude Adjustment by Christina
“I have a theory she was dropped on her head as a small child or perhaps simply hit a little too hard on her soft spot at a tender age, funny with as hard as her head is now.”
Christina Lyons
What, Huh? by Christina
Stupid Questions by Christina
Now Really by Christina
Could It Be? by Christina
Maybe Not by Christina
