A girl was helping her boyfriend set up his PC and he wanted to log in with a password. Now, you have to understand he’s got somewhat of a rebellious attitude and goes for the shock effect. So, when the computer asked him to enter his password, he keys in “penis”.

His girlfriend nearly fell off the chair from laughing so hard when the computer replied…:

PASSWORD REJECTED. NOT LONG ENOUGH.

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1. DICTIONARY FOR WOMEN’S PERSONAL ADS

40-ish……………………………………….. 49
Adventurous………………………………. Slept with everyone
Athletic……………………………………… No boobs
Average looking………………………….. Ugly
beautiful……………………………………… Pathalogical liar
Contagious smile………………………….. Does a lot of pills
Emotionally secure……………………….. On medication
Feminist…………………………………….. Fat
Free Spirit………………………………….. Junkie
Friendship first…………………………….. Former slut
Fun…………………………………………… Annoying
New-Age…………………………………… Body hair in the wrong places
Old-fashioned……………………………… No BJs
Open-minded……………………………… Desperate
Outgoing…………………………………….. Loud and Embarrassing
Passionate………………………………….. Sloppy drunk
Professional………………………………… Bitch
Voluptuous…………………………………. Very Fat
Large frame………………………………… Hugely Fat
Wants Soul mate…………………………. Stalker

2. WOMEN’S ENGLISH

Yes…………………………………………… No
No…………………………………………….. Yes
Maybe………………………………………… No
We need……………………………………… I want
I am sorry……………………………! …….. .. You’ll be sorry
We need to talk…………………………….. You’re in trouble
Sure, go ahead………………………………. You’d better not
Do what you want………………………….. You will pay for this later
I am not upset………………………………..Of course i am upset you moron!
You’re certainly attentive tonight………… Is sex all you ever think about

3. MENS ENGLISH

I am hungry…………………………………. I am hungry
I am sleepy……………………………………I am sleepy
I am tired…………………………………….. I am tired
Nice dress……………………………………. Nice cleavage
I love you……………………………………. Let’s have sex now
I am bored…………………………………….Do you want to have sex?
May I have this dance?……………………. I’d like to have sex with you
Can I call you sometime……………………. I’d like to have sex with you
Do you want to go to a movie?……………..I’d like to have sex with you
Can I take you out to dinner?……………….I’d like to have sex with you
I don’t think those shoes go with that outfit………. I’m gay

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Changing Your Perspective

Some people have a knack for looking at a scene or situation and perceiving things not only in terms of their own experiences, but also in terms of the experiences of others. They embrace changes in perspective and look at things from many vantage points. Others, however, will see what they see, and may not be convinced that someone else might see it differently. A change in perspective can be a valuable tool in interacting with others, remaining open to new ideas, and increasing creativity. Your perspective normally reflects a reality that is uniquely yours. But think of viewing a room from two different positions; you will see different items depending on your position. Or consider the difference in looking out over the rolling ocean versus seeing into its depths while snorkeling.

Most people have at one time or another tried looking at a situation through someone else’s eyes. But changing your perception can be applied in many different ways. You might try seeing the disappointment of not having funds to travel as an opportunity to more deeply explore activities offered in your own neighborhood. When you are faced with a challenge, try to see the problem from all angles in order to solve it. In changing what you perceive, you will be more likely to come up with a novel solution. Changing your perspective enhances objectivity while refreshing creativity. In fact, it’s said that the most creative people see what everyone sees, but look at it in ways most people do not. Try finding the angular beauty in a cityscape or the opportunities for fun on a wet, dreary day. They’re there.

The universe is a vast conglomeration of all perspectives. Changing or expanding your perspective is not about avoiding another perspective or ignoring the parts of life you find unpleasant. Everything that exists continues to exist whether you choose to focus on it. Rather, a shift in perception can help you understand the world in a different way, from a new angle, which in turn can solve problems, create things of beauty, and lead the life you truly desire.

What do you think?
Discuss this article and share your opinion

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Living in a donkey stall;
Have you hit rock bottom yet?
Things better?

Christina Bledsoe

Authors Comment:

Quinzaine is a “statement following two questions about statement”

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A woman who had outlived eight husbands finally passed away.

Old friends and enemies alike gathered at her grave side and consoled or *censored*ed with each other, as is so often the way.

“Oh well, at least they’ll be together again…” sighed of the departed’s lady friends.

“Yes,” replied a childhood friend with a sob, “But with which husband?”

“No silly,” said the snide friend, “I meant her legs.”

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Decay surrounds the people;
What are they to do?
Do they hide?

Christina Bledsoe

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A man and his wife were working in their garden 1 day
And the man looks over at his wife and says:
“Your butt is getting really big, I mean really big.
I bet your butt is bigger than the barbecue.”

With that, he proceeded to get a measuring tape
And measured the grill and then went over to
Where his wife was working
And measured his wife’s bottom.

“Yes, I was right, your butt is 2″ wider than the barbecue!!!”

The woman chose to ignore her husband.

Later that night in bed,
The husband is feeling a little frisky.
He makes some advances towards his wife
Who completely brushes him off.

“What’s wrong?” he asks.

She answers: ” Do you really think
I’m going to fire up this big-ass grill
For one little weenie ?”

THE MOST WASTED OF ALL DAYS IS ONE WITHOUT LAUGHTER.

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