It’s been seventeen years
and i have struggled to find answers
concerning these pains of struggle
for reasons known and unknown
i have placed blame on all that i know
or could rightfully conceive
i have toiled with drugs and alcohol
fast cars inviting fast women
hustling leading to distribution
disgust through disillusionment
discouragement by disgrace
discontent by way of discrimination
domestic abuse then imprisonment
under-employment causing unemployment
afflictions gripping addictions
paranoia filling insanity

yet, the answers don’t come
so, i have contemplated extinction
blaming outside forces for my situations
then harboring feelings of selfish hate
for all that venture my way
when i look in the mirror
it reflects my fear
through these omnious stares
i have run out of people to blame
and this is leading to insane
so, now fuming with spite
with thoughts looming through night
i turn my pain inside out
as my anger shouts
screaming at the devil
for doing his job

i stop…
dead in my tracks

wanting to ask myself
why be mad at the devil
when it’s all my fault

Contributed by JOB I AM of poets.com (copyrighted)

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