The penis hereby requests a raise in salary for the following reasons:
1. I do physical labor
2. I work at great depths
3. I plunge headfirst into everything I do
4. I do not get weekends or public holidays off
5. I work in a damp environment
6. I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation
7. I work in high temperatures
8. My work exposes me to contagious diseases.

Response……………………………

Dear Penis,
After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:
1. You do not work 8 hours straight
2. You fall asleep on the job after brief work periods
3. You do not always follow the orders of the management team
4. You do not take initiative; you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working.
5. You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift
6. You don’t always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing protective clothing.
7. You will retire well before you are 65
8. You are unable to work double shifts
9. You sometimes leave your designated workplace before you have completed the assigned work
10. And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering and exiting the workplace carrying two suspicious looking bags.
Sincerely,
Management

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