Hello, Everyone.

I was venturing the net and I came across this article from World Entertainment…..it’s very funny….If you don’t recall who Heath Ledger is click on the link for a picture first to jog your memory…

Ready?????

Go!!!!!!!

Ledger shocks TV host with talk of grabbing ‘weenies’

Heath Ledger shocked American audiences by talking about grabbing “weenies” with his male buddies whilst wearing “thongs”. The Australian actor, 25, stunned host Regis Philbin with his antipodean colloquialisms for having a hot dog while sporting flip-flops as he detailed the way he bonds with his male pals over Christmas. Ledger says, “I was promoting my film on The Regis and Kelly Show. “Regis asked me what I did Down Under for Christmas fun, so I told him that me and my mates liked to put on our thongs and grab weenies and look at the world go by, and that was our perfect way to male-bond. The whole audience just went silent, and Regis was all frantic gesturing for a commercial break. At the break, I explained that in Australia, Christmas is our summer and thongs are flip-flops, not G-strings, and I meant putting hot dogs (weenies) on the barbie (barbeque).”

Articles Copyright World Entertainment News Network All Rights Reserved.

Funny how words can be twisted, isnt it?

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In the rain,
We stand vain,
Trying not to complain,
Trying to refrain,
From using too much of our brain.

Wondering;

If we should call,
If we will fall,
If we’d be able to recall,
If it was worth it all.

Should it end,
I will mend,
And somehow I will send,
You a message,
That I’ll always be your friend.

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Even Non-Italians can enjoy this!

An old Italian man lived alone in the country. He wanted to dig his tomato garden, but it was very hard work as the ground was hard. His only son, Vincent, who used to help him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament.

Dear Vincent,
I am feeling pretty bad because it looks like I won’t be able to plant my tomato garden this year. I’m just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. If you were here my troubles would be over. I know you would dig the plot for me.
Love Dad

A few days later he received a letter from his son.

Dear Dad,!
Not for nothing, but don’t dig up that garden. That’s where I buried the BODIES.
Love Vinnie

At 4 a.m. the next morning, FBI agents and local police arrived and dug up the entire area without finding any bodies. They apologized to the old man and left.

That same day the old man received another letter from his son.

Dear Dad,
Go ahead and plant the tomatoes now. That’s the best I could do under the circumstances.
Love Vinnie

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The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but shorter tempers, wider
freeways, but narrower viewpoints. We spend more,
but have less, we buy more, but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and smaller families, more
conveniences, but less time. We have more degrees
but less sense, more knowledge, but less judgment,
more experts, yet more problems, more medicine, but less wellness.

We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too
recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get
too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom.

We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often.

We’ve learned how to make a living, but not a life.

We’ve added years to life not life to years. We’ve been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor.
We conquered outer space but not inner space. We’ve done larger things, but not better things.
We’ve cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul.
We’ve conquered the atom, but not our prejudice. We write more, but learn less. We plan more, but
accomplish less. We’ve learned to rush, but not to wait. We build more computers to hold more
information, to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and less.

These are the times of fast foods and slow
digestion, big men and small character, steep
profits and shallow relationships. These are the
days of two incomes but more divorce, fancier
houses, but broken homes. These are days of quick
trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill.

It is a time when there is much in the showroom
window and nothing in the stockroom.

Remember, spend some time with your loved ones,
because they are not going to be around forever.
Remember, say a kind word to someone who looks up to you in awe, because that little person soon will grow up and leave your side.

Remember, to give a warm hug to the one next to you, because that is the only treasure you can give with your heart and it doesn’t cost a cent.
Remember, to say, “I love you” to your partner and your loved ones, but most of all mean it. A kiss and an embrace will mend hurt when it comes from deep inside of you.

Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment for
someday that person will not be there again.
Give time to love, give time to speak, and give time to share the precious thoughts in your mind.

AND ALWAYS REMEMBER:
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we
take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

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Two women are new arrivals at the pearly gates and are comparing stories on how they died:

1st woman: I froze to death.
2nd woman: How horrible.

1st woman: It wasn’t so bad. After I quit shaking from the cold, I began to get warm and sleepy, and finally died a peaceful death. What about you?
2nd woman: I died of a massive heart attack. I suspected that my husband was cheating, so I came home early to catch him in the act. But instead, I found him all by himself in the den watching TV.

1st woman: So what happened?
2nd woman: I was so sure there was another woman there somewhere that I started running all over the house looking. I ran up into the attic and searched, and down into the basement. Then I went through every closet and checked under all the beds. I kept this up until I had looked everywhere, and finally I became so exhausted that I just keeled over with a heart attack and died.

1st woman: Too bad you didn’t look in the freezer — we’d both still be alive.

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A skinny little white guy goes into an elevator, looks up and sees
this huge black guy standing next to him.

The big guy sees the little guy staring at him, looks down and
says:”7 feet tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch private, 3 pound left testicle, 3
pound right testicle, Turner Brown.”

The white man faints and falls to the floor. The big guy kneels down
and brings him to, shaking him. The big guy says, “What’s wrong with
you?”

In a weak voice the little guy says, “What EXACTLY did you say to
me?”

The big dude says, “I saw the curious look and figured I’d just give You the answers to the questions everyone always asks me. I’m 7 feet tall, I weigh 350 pounds, I have a 20 inch private, my left testicle weighs 3 pounds, my right testicle weighs 3 pounds, and my name is Turner Brown.” ;

The small guy says, “Turner Brown?!…OH, Thank God! I thought you said “Turn around!”

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A 92-year-old, petite, well-poised and proud man, who is fully dressed each morning by eight o’clock, with his hair fashionably coifed and shaved perfectly, even though he is legally blind, moved to a nursing home today. His wife of 70 years recently passed away, making the move necessary. After many hours of waiting patiently in the lobby of the nursing home, he smiled sweetly when told his room was ready.
As he maneuvered his walker to the elevator, I provided a visual description of his tiny room, including the eyelet curtains that had been hung on his window.
“I love it,” he stated with the enthusiasm of an eight-year-old having just been presented with a new puppy.
“Mr. Jones, you haven’t seen the room; just wait.”
“That doesn’t have anything to do with it,” he replied.
“Happiness is something you decide on ahead of time. Whether I like my room or not doesn’t depend on how the furniture is arranged … it’s how I arrange my mind. I already decided to love it “It’s a decision I make every morning when I wake up. I have a choice; I can spend the day in bed recounting the difficulty I have with the parts of my body that no longer work, or get out of bed and be thankful for the ones that do.Each day is a gift, and as long as my eyes open I’ll focus on the new day and all the happy memories I’ve stored away. Just for this time in my life. Old age is like a bank account. You withdraw from what you’ve put in. So, my advice to you would be to deposit a lot of happiness in the bank account of memories!
Thank you for your part in filling my Memory bank. I am still depositing.”
Remember the five simple rules to be happy:
1. Free your heart from hatred.
2. Free your mind from worries.
3. Live simply.
4. Give more.
5. Expect less.

I am too blessed to be stressed and too anointed to be disappointed.

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